Alexithymia

Love or Hate?

2011-03-22T03:49:00.000-07:00

1 thing I very learn > people hate the unexpected changes.

human feelings are fragile & vulnerable esp girl I know rite..

life shyt on me so many fcukin times..

yeah I do make mistakes & sometimes I realize it

but I keep thinking things will get better everyday..

expect, yes that's the word u can't give too much..

I fcuking live the life so freely & no boundaries..

although there are some limits I try to maintain it,

but still sins been writen on my left shoulder..

I can't even think wisely rite now..

there's a lot of things playing around my mind..

love? yeahh im on it but my heart is not like a flower garden

that always blossom & smells good with love notes everywhere..

pushes? i don't like to be force to do something..

I don't like to be told what to do when I don't wanna do it..

im not that typical type I guess~

I know things get harder everyday while holding hope & dreams..

I don't blame anybody for this..for what happen to me..

but still im thankful to God (Allah S.W.T) for everything I had today..

Everyday is a brand new day for me & of course hopes that never fade..

nothing in this life ever permanent, even feelings may be temporary..

all the sadness & happiness we had was just a part of life journey..

I did get paranoid sometimes for no reason =.=!

I hate myself sometimes..

I even question myself "what the person have I become?"

I cry then stop and cry back again..

I stare at this monitor & spread the feelings..

seriously, being sad is the most beautiful thing & cry is the best relief ever..

cuz when we're sad there will be someone concern & try to make us feel better..

yeah people around us who love us, they're awesome people..

so thank you awesome people who care about me..i love u guys..

Quote of the day ;

"In the end people will judge u no matter how good u are.

So suck it baybeh cuz lyfe shyt on u sometimes."

Redesign Me.

2011-02-08T23:07:00.000-08:00

If you were still around,
You'd tell me that I'm different,
Since the last time you called me out,
I'd put you down,
I'd tell you it's a waste of time,
To keep you by my side.

If you were still around,
I swear,
We would sit and stare,
We would be no where.

Until this day,
I look for what it's gonna take,
To just make things be,
But still today I wonder is it,
You or me who should feel guilty,
I pull it up,
Push it up,
Put it in,
Out of my mind,
I thought that I had said,
Goodbye.

If you were still around,
You would tell me that you're sorry,
But you don't know what you're sorry about,
I'd keep to myself,
Keep you guessing,
Make you question if it's ever gonna work itself out.

If you were still around,
I swear,
We would sit and stare,
We would be no where.

Until this day,
I look for what it's gonna take,
To just make things be,
But still today I wonder is it,
You or me who should feel guilty,
I pull it up,
Push it up,
Put it in,
Out of my mind,
I thought that I had said,
Goodbye.

Light still haunts me,
Yeah it still haunts me,
Yeah it still haunts me.

Until this day,
I look for what it's gonna take,
To just make things be,
But still today I wonder is it,
You or me who should feel guilty,
I pull it up,
Push it up,
Put it in,
Out of my mind, yeah,
I thought that I had said,
Goodbye.

"Moving on is hard, but it's sometimes for the better."

CONFESSION OF MY LIFE

2011-01-03T23:47:00.000-08:00

Heyya..its January 2011 which is A WHOLE BRAND NEW YEAR. How u guys been doin? Thanx for following my cheap contentless blog ;P I don't regularly update this blog but once I'll post it in long notes or announce something in my heart obviously how I feel. Well this is how it goes, my confessions of year 2010. There’s gonna be a new challenge, new experience and lot of new things to come. Being ‘new’ is not something I like about, but it’s something that challenge & test me. What will I’ve become next? How my life seems to be after this? Is it the same and not moving anywhere? Stuck in the same cycle everyday? Be better or worst ever? Maybe I think too much but there’s a lot of picture in my mind and I just can’t simply let it go.

I’ve been working almost 3 years from now, every month I got paid but then the wages disappeared in just any minute. All I think rite now is my mom and I still haven’t got something to give or actually grant her. I mean like go on vacation with her or support all her expenses for Haji or something to guarantee in the future. I feel like crying rite now, I know I may be young at the age of early 20 to get prepare all of these things but seems my mom’s aged is about 60 not much like my friend’s mom aged 40-50 and makes me concern much more of her health that she can’t walk too much longer cause of her knee aching. My mom is easy-going, not a loud person, not easily get angry and always conceal what she felt. I don’t feel like talking about my brothers cause they seems have no much concerns in this family, I may sound selfish but I’m their sister and I knew them so well. I’m also worried about my dad currently driving a taxi to survive & support this family. He’s not so healthy I know but he’s a man look strong and not much care at all. Although sometimes he babbled & fought with my mom much often cause when my mom tell me about it and I just sit & hear while my mind goes around hoping things get better tomorrow. It’s not something very serious that cause to damaged a marriage but u know when old couples fought its all back at how much they love their child, how to survive a family life, how to pay bills & maintenance, who will take care of them, this house, car, money and all those things. I just don’t know how to feel & think about my family and we’re not so called ‘happy family’ thingy but I’m okay with it cause I’m used to it.

As I grew up I understand more about life, it’s like been taught with no teacher and u just walk chapter by chapter from your journey of life but the worst part is we never know when we gonna end (die). So we just can face everyday with full of good hope without knowing the consequence & reason of our existence. Everybody said life is easy just live it the way it should be but I guess there is no such thing as ABC & 123 that we’ve learned in school. There’s always a choice to make for every step u take, even when u’re go to lunch u’ll have to make a choice where to go and what to eat unless u bring it from home that will be other people choice to make but still an OPTION to CHOOSE to make a CHOICE. Everybody does it, when we can’t reach the decision it will stuck in your head and u just stop for a second to find the solution but still u can’t get it then u decided to let it be and let other people choose what its going to be. We actually need each other, every people own their lives, body, mind & soul but every people need the existence of the other just to feel we’re not alone in this world. Of course we need GOD (ALLAH S.W.T) His the answer of all doubtful & worries. Everybody has something to bother about, they may seem not care at all but actually does playing in their mind.

I don’t have any wishes for 2011 but I hope I didn’t make more mistakes and of course be better & mature than last year (2010). Think I can do a lot of new things & experience cause I want to understand life more & the people around me that I loved and inspired me. Thank God I still alive and I will look forward to see what’s best for me in the future. Please God show me the way, InsyAllah..

Higher deeper thoughts,
Anery.Xax

Misguided Ghosts

2010-11-03T01:04:00.000-07:00

Sorry i'm kinda lazy to update blogspot rite now. Too many social networking nowadays, with two bare hand while time running so fast never gonna get enuff! Lolx. U can follow/add me at the following social network :

http://www.facebook.com/aneryxax

http://twitter.com/AneryXax

http://aneryxax.tumblr.com/

http://www.formspring.me/aneryxax

http://www.flickr.com/aneryxax

Here some update for my fav month this year ~ OCTOBER :

http://aneryxax.tumblr.com/post/1436369182/goodbye-october-2010

See I told u too many 'SN' I need to handle. No am not a DIVA or WANNABES but get famous in some 'SN' is priceless & I can't help it. Ha3! Well plus I don't have any internet connection at home now =( Yaa its too pathetic & lame I know, but there's some sort of problem with it. I don't really mind cuz I'll surf at the office but I'm scared soon there will be IT engineer here or what to control & monitor every activities in our PC & am like DANG! GTFO will ya? LOL JK ;p For whatever reason I AM SUPER GODDESS LAZY to update this &&& plsss follow/add the url I'll just give it OK =)

Lostoflove, Anery.Xax

"I rather hurt than feel nothing at all."

2010-08-25T19:01:00.000-07:00

Happiness? is dat only a word or somekind of feeling?

Why do we always suffer just to get happiness?

Sometimes we need to lie just to reach the happiness we wanted..

I wonder why...

So many times I've lied, hurt & disappointed people I love,

just wanna be happy..is dat happiness all about?

Careful

2010-08-18T18:34:00.000-07:00

When I woke up this morning..

I started wondering myself..
Am I deserve to be happy?

Did people around appreciate me?
I know this is sound so wrong..

I can't doubt their sincerity..
I mean like who can I ask this to?

Who can really answer me?
This is crazy I know..

I am optimist person..

I am positive thinker..
But when I look at their eyes I saw something that they missed..
Something they want from me..

I always feel like I can't satisfy them..
Am I giving the best to them?

Am I make them happy?
This is not a personal relationship confession, but involving all people..
Relationship with people around me, my family, best friends, cliques & etc..
Seriously I don't know what am thinking rite now..
Its really confusing..I wonder why...

Looking Up

2010-07-13T01:35:00.000-07:00

I got 2 things to confess here :

1. SPAIN IS THE WORLD CUP CHAMPION 2010! WOOT WOOT!

2. TWILIGHT: ECLIPSE THE MOVIE WAS AWESOME & BEST OF THE REST!

Quick, easy & impactful isn't ? :)

The Only Exception...

2010-07-04T21:28:00.000-07:00

It's tough baby, I know...

It's damn hard, I know...

It's stressful, I know...

But all we gotta do is keep movin on....

Keep walking & don't stop....

Don't u wanna see what waiting in front?

I wanna see it...

I wanna grab it...

I wanna own it...

I will keep holdin on & challenge myself...

After all that we've been thru...

I know, I know, I know...

"And i'm on my way to believe it..."

Brick By Boring Brick

2010-07-02T19:32:00.000-07:00

Hi guys! it's been a while I haven't update this blog *ppfffttt effin busy lah? ;p I'm doin fine & juzzz keep walking on the same path didn't sure where to go or what to do in the future..Nah just follow the flow, I don't wanna messed up my head with crappy thoughts & foolish fantasy cuz it's kinda tiring to imagine & hoping things u won't get it & end the same as always..

Sometimes I feel so stressful with my daily routine but somehow I admit this is life, u're not always on the top u got to reach the bottom just to see up high in the sky that there is nothing as big & mighty than ALLAH S.W.T! my problems is nothing compares to people suffering in GAZA or other people broken heart & lost..I feel blessed, I have family, bestfriends, boyfie, cliques & many contacts with great people all over the world. I should not regret of anything dat happen to me, besides am proud cuz i've gone thru it cuz dat makes me become stronger & wiser~ I believe & have faith in God.. One day, I will see & get what I earn to live today :)

Ok enuff talking bout that, it's FOOTBALL FEVER FRENZY people!!! It's getting tough & tense rite now..but i'm not-so-die-hard-fan of this 'round thingy' but when it comes to World Cup nahhh u juz can't resist! I can't help myself when looking at gorgeous handsome awesome players around the world makes me go crazy wild of them. Haha! :P Weeelll..this time I'll go for Spain! Not cuz of the superb awesome handsome players only (but that's 1 ov da reason) but they are a great team! They might not goaling some 'major' goals before but as they qualified to the next around dat's OK lah. I mean cmon, 'hero kalah dulu!' aite..hehe.. Viva Espana! :D

Last but not least, I leave some great picture of David Villa from Spain.

Adios Amigos Bambos!

SG Day-Out 050610!~

2010-06-07T19:56:00.000-07:00

Last Saturday was fun & cherish to hang-out wif my darling Scoo Gurlz & lovely bF. We were watching 'Lagenda Budak Setan' at City Square Cinema.. Overall, I give 3 & half star.. Cuz the script is the weakest part i think? But love the acting by Farid Kamil, Lisa Surihani & Que Haidar so touching & emotional. Bravooo thumbs up 4 them! ;)

Afta dat, we olls g layan Shisha Nenas kat Susur.. Cam teruje la coz baru 1st time try shisha nenas ni & tengok cmane kaedah nye tu. So nenas tu kat bawah then ade paip yg sambung ke atas masok dlm botol air ue cmtu la lebey kurg. Masyukk gak ahhh kitorg amek flava Melon Gummy gitu la.. Pastu makan² then tataw nak g ane, lepak danga then balek..

Oh ya early in the morning, we go to bAbybEe's wedding. Beautiful & gorgeous dgn theme Shocking Pink + Black. Goodies bag pon comel ade bear kaler pink. Happy married my dear kak Emma, may Allah bless both ov u & makes more more more babiess haa! Here some photo's :

Thanx my BFF SCOOGURLZ & my dear Gaban for spending ya'll precious time & moment with me.. I feel so bless surrounded by great & fun people like you guys..

Love forever, Anery Xax.

IF ONLY I CUD...

2010-05-27T19:07:00.000-07:00

If only I cud...

~ Ran away from all the problems...

~ Never really care about people feelings...

~ Don't have to think about my future...

~ Fix the past that I've done wrong...

~ Read people's mind & heart...

~ Show them how I really feel rite now...

~ Satisfy the people that love me...

~ Make everybody happy equally...

~ Get anything in a blink of an eye...

~ Do whatever I want without being told!

Cud that be easy? :-/ Nahhh don't think so...

10 Sebab Menggunakan Internet

2010-04-27T20:55:00.000-07:00

Ok dalam entri ni aku nak cakap pasal 10 sebab ke'best'an internet.

Peraduan ni Atok Poyo Giler tu soh join ni link die ~ Empayar Poyos

So aku try la eh?

1. First skali aku keje opis, jadi keje opis mesti la pakai pc, da pakai pc mesti nak ade internet, internet free pulak tu. Jadi ape lagi nak tunggu? Bedalllll jela!

2. Dari tahun 1998 aku dah menggatal belajar gune internet, buat email, download lagu, chatting mIRC & join gathering. So aku jadi gian lah sampai skang kene gune.

3. Dengan internet aku dapat cari kawan, pakwe, makwe, sedare mare & sumelah. Even dulu aku couple pon gune internet je! Punyelah senang xpayah susa payah nak usha kenyit mate ke tulis surat biodata.

4. Lagi satu aku suke, boleh upload gambar yang chun² pastu tayang show-off lah kan nanti member² komen "cantik..cute..nice..suke..cmane amek gambo camni eh.." xkembang lobang idong kaw???

5. Ha yang ni memang fevret aku..Download MP3 free! Asal lagu baru je aku download da mcm jukebox da pc aku ni nak lagu ape taip je sume kuar. Ak xpayah nak keluar jalan cari kedai cd, dah tu nak kene keluar duit pulak mcm mebazir je aku rase. Heheeee jgn mareeee :P~

6. Dah tu boleh pulak tengok video kat YouTube dengan selambernye takpayah nak bayar tiket wayang ke ape kan. Sambil besile atas kosi menghirup air indocafe sambil mengunyah kuih-muih tengok video konsert Paramore (fav band aku) ataupun video clip Geli Mat..Peh memang santai habissss!

7. Lagi skang ni nak shopping punye lah senanggg..tak payah nak tunggu hujan benti baru nak keluar rumah, kat umah ke opis just duduk pastu jari standby atas keyboard & mouse, pastu klik je baju ke seluar ke kasot yang korang suke pastu bukak internet banking transfer duit mcm air. Tup-tup sampai dah barangnye depan mate! Ek eh xke best tuuuu???

8. Ha ni kadang² taim boring sangat da taktau nak buat ape, carik la gosip² hangat celebrity kat blog² kan pastu sedap je menyampaikan dkt kengkawan mintak pendapatan yang tak seberape tu. Kire okla gak kan dari tak buat pape.

9. Seterusnye, dapat chatting ngan member pastu arrange nak jumpe bile ke buat ape. Contohnye kat Facebook, tag je name member² pastu tanye "hah malam ni pe pojek? lepak² jom bosan ah!" pastu member² pon reply "jom mamak! layannn zasssttt!" dah setel malam tepacak kat mamak pekene teh tarik+roti tampal goyang.

10. Last but not least! Internet ni memang sangat²lah penting pada zaman skang.. so kesimpulannye takde Internet korang boleh idop ke? LU PK LAH SENDIRI! Hahaha sekian :)

~ Anery.Xax ~

Starry Old Stories

2010-04-22T23:38:00.000-07:00

Wow..its 2010 dude~ I live almost 23 years now..
Hari ni aku teringatkan kenangan & kisah silam..

Sambil layan track 'Too Phat' ~ just a friend & etc..

Mengingatkan manusia yang pernah hadir dalam hidup aku

suatu ketika dahulu..terima kasih atas kenangan itu :)

Kelakar, gembira, sedih, marah, kesal, tada rase pape pon ade!
Ya aku akui perkara yang lepas itu mematangkan kita & membuatkan

kita terus berfikir dan terus bertanya ape makna kehidupan ini..

Aku bangge & bersyukur kerana dapat merasa kehidupan yang aku lalui sekarang..
Deep down in my heart, aku rinduuuu sgt² 'zaman kegemilangan' aku..
I feel so alive at that time I can do anything I want without care

so much about other people feelings & I juz don't give a damn!
But now I realize everything happen for a reason &

thats value become who is Nur Irena Bte Idris now..
I just wanna say.......

"Hey! to all people that have been exist in my life,
I miss & love you guys so muchhh~
There's no HATE or GRUDGE im holdin..
What's done is done & past will remain past..
I believe that everyone had moved on~
My dear old good friends, case of ex'es,
friends that become foe, brothas & sistas..
I apologize for what I did wrong in my past-time :)
Hope we will meet again soon.."

:: P.E.A.C.E.O.N.E.L.O.V.E.T.H.E.E.N.D ::

With love,
Nur Irena Idris a.k.a Anery Xax

Blessing Heart

2010-03-28T00:42:00.000-07:00

Hari ini 28/3/2010 ibu kepade rafidah a.k.a pidot/rieyda (http://www.facebook.com/rieyda) telah selamat dikebumikan iaitu pd smlmnye arwah pergi meninggalkan kita semua pd lebih kurang 11.15pm...AL-FATIHAH ~.~ pastinya waktu yang sangat sukar utk beliau kerana kehilangan seorang IBU ibarat separuh dari nyawa kita turut pergi.. Sesungguhnya kasih sayang & pengorbanan seorang IBU itu amat besar & tiada tolok bandingnya.. Sewaktu dulu fyda dah kehilangan arwah abahnya, A.Rahman (maaf ak lupe tahun berape), selepas itu pd tahun 2005/06 aku sendiri kehilangan arwah kak long, Saleha & anak kak long, Syakira dan pada masa itu 'SG' disisi & sentiasa berikan semangat untuk teruskan idop..semoga arwah-arwah ditempatkan dikalangan orang yg beriman & para ahli syurga..amin ya rabbal al amin..

My Dear SG ~ Pidot, Fyda, Pipie, Sri & Yana, kita semua telah mengharungi pelbagai dugaan & kesukaran di dalam persahabatan serta masalah peribadi masing².. Tapi aku bangga, krn kita semua tidak sebodoh & senangnya memutuskan ikatan yg dah hampir 8 tahun ini.. Pada angka memang nampak lama, tapi apa yg kita lalui bersama ni rase sekejap.. Kalau nak diimbas satu persatu kenangan² kita mase lalu memang 100 page pon xkan habis.. Yang pastinya kenangan² bersama pastinya sesuatu yang aku sentiasa sematkan di dalam hati hingga akhir hayat..

Aku tersangatlah bersyukur kepada Allah S.W.T kerana menganugerahkan kawan² yang sejati untuk kita sama² meneruskan hidup ini dengan lebih bermakna & bersemangat.. Walaupun kita kadang selisih faham & berbeza pendapat tapi aku pasti 'chemistry' antara kita berEnam memang sangat kuat.. Ak percaya kalau satu hari nanti salah seorang antara kita 'pergi' pasti kita akan terasa kehilangan yg amat besar.. Bagi aku tempat korang xda penggantinya, everyone has their 'own' spot in this group..

Semoga kita semua dapat teruskan hidup ni dengan baik & menghargai setiap detik yang kita dah lalui.. Buang yang keruh ambil yang jernih.. Kalau ada terkutuk & termaki antara kita maafkanlah.. No one ever perfect in this world, & we're not so good to be true cuz sometimes we're lies & fake to each other, but it doesn't really matter as long as we still live as 'BFF' dat's mean we're cool & loyal :)

My Dear SG ~ As we grow up so fast now.. We learn & share so many things from each other.. I hope diz friendship will last forever even the world is breaking, promise we will stay forever.. ;')
LOVE U ALL MY LONG LAST FRIEND ~ SCOOGURLZ ~

NUR RAFIDAH BINTI DOLMAT

NUR AF'IDAH BINTI A.RAHMAN

RAZIELAH BINTI SALIM

SRI DIANA BINTI MD SOM

NUR LIYANA BINTI ABD KARIM

Forgive Me For Everything I Had Done.. May Allah Bless Us All~

Sincerely yours,
NUR IRENA BINTI IDRIS.

Just Enjoy Da ShO.ow!

2010-01-25T05:19:00.000-08:00

Pernah tak korang rase bahagia? Ofcoz la penah.
Tapi pernah tak korang rase bahagia at the same time merane? Penah kot kan.
Agak² kenape ea bole jadi mcm tu? Mesti susah nak jawab kan.
Kadang² kite nak orang tu bahagia tapi sebenarnye kite merane..
Mcm menipu diri sendiri..
Kite buat² bahagia bagai nak rak gelak,
sengih sorg² tapi dalam haty?
Hujan ribot taufan melande!
Susahnye nak tafsir perasaan yang bersembunyi disebalik
badan-tulang-jantung-haty ni kite semue taktau kat mane perasaan tu berade,
hanya ALLAH maha mengetahui dimana & apa yang kita rasa..
Even nak describe ape yg aku rase skang ni pon ak rase susah gyle..
Lau perasaan da becampo marah+sedih+jelez+giveup+bengang=?
Ak bkn nak kate ak marah ke sedih ke ape skang..
Cuma ak emosi, mungkin ade sikit rasa tak puas haty.
Enta la da ak bosan!!! Aaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhhh!!!
Menjerit & merapu dalam blog pon cukop la..
Dari ak kwa tak tentu hale membahayekan dri watpe!
Adiosss Beramboszzz!

Learn Something, Be Something.

2010-01-04T17:52:00.001-08:00

Its not too late to wish everybody brand new year 2010!
May this year bring prosperity & happiness in our lives..
My vision this year; I wanna be an optimist & positive person.
Good riddance 2009, let's throw out all the matters & sadness last year,
And bring the new spirit alive in more meaningful way~

I admit last year in the early of 2009 was so many memories & tragedy that happen to me, dat make me suffocate & miserable, i almost feel like dying but i fight it back.. Thanks to ALLAH S.W.T for giving the strength & truth to go on & deal with it. I don't want to mention what things dat happen to me, i don't need no sympathy but i need courage to live it up ahead..thanks to people who support & advise me, i appreciate it & to all people dat involve in it i'm sorry & please forgive me..

We all make mistakes but to learn from it? Its optional.
Its not lyke everybody making mistakes & repent but kept repeating it.
I'm a human being just like u guys, I made mistakes even a worst one & im still learn from it try not to repeat again. I don't want to be notice from my kindness but I want to be notice from my trouble cuz it will left 'something' to be remembered the rest of life then people will judge on it..that's better than to be remembered on what u're not or pretend to be. I don't blame anybody on what i've got, dat's must be the part of karmatic. What goes around must comes around~

Lyke i say i'm not perfect i've made mistakes too & i apologize to every single person who been victimize, i dun intend to do it but accidentally crushed on it. A thousand sorry from the bottom ov my heart.. Frankly, deep deep down inside i feel damn sad on what happen & if i have the power to change it i will..but then this is lyfe..keep movin' on don't give up & be a better person to achieve what we want in future..

There so many things happen here & there, from littlest to widest, happy to misery & nothing to something.. But whatever it is, I still want to live this life & see many things forward to happen. Cuz when u live, live it like u gonna die tomorrow~

~ From bottom of my kaki, Anery Xax ~

"Hidup ni memang palat, tapi esok masih ada.." :)

Yearly Comeback!~

2009-08-05T04:02:00.000-07:00

Perrrrggghhhhh! Lame gyle bapak xupdate blog neyh~ duh! b-( Setaon lebey sude xapdet. Agagaga~ Btw, so many things happennn & all i gotta say "ITS A BLAST!" Huh~ keje pon maken tensen seposen..dengan kemalasan tahap gabannye lagi..tanggungjawab pon da maken berat.. Well its true lyfe getting harder when u're older, so so so many things to think a bout.. And the youth enjoying time is starting to fade.. And then.. PAP! at one time the 'golden' question floating on ur mind "Bile la aku nak kawen ni ekk? Orang laen da kawen, aku bile lagi??". Well persoalannye boleh ke kite jawab soalan tu? "Aaa lambat agy, mude agy beb lom puas enjoy!" atau.. "Em InsyaAllah, maybe dalam taun depan ke, ala coming soon lah!" takpon.. "Kalau ade jodoh, adelah. Kalau tak.." erk! pastu temati kat ctu..hahaha~ Actually aku bkn nak melawak kan soal jodoh/kawen ni. Tapiii...ha tulah asek nak ber'tapi' aje memang lambat la nak jadi ye tak? Ko gyle la kalau da 20-an xterpk langsong pasal kawen, at least mesti ade imagine berangan sket2 mcm nak buat kat mane majlisnye..nak grand ke x..kire2 budget..semue bab nak melangsongkan majlis tu je da naik pusing 360 darjah kepale dibuatnye! Belom masok bab 'after marriage' lagi..ha part tu..baru soalan2 lain lagi timbol "Macam mane la agaknye aku da ade anak nanti..nak letak name ape? boy ke girl?" mase before kawen bukan men lagi "nanti dah kawen aku nak anak 5 jela kot, tanak ramai2 sangat la.." tunggu punye tunggu takde anak teros, hah ape cer ? Emm..ntahla soal jodoh, zuriat ni sume ketentuan Allah S.W.T tol x...xboleh nak cakap, predict, imagine lebeh2 sangat nanti sendiri geget jari kaki beb! Banyak agy la nak pk...salah satunye "bile la aku nak dapat kerja bagus, gaji besar.." kadang kite ni yeye'ooo la cakap nak cari keje laen yang lagi bagos, tapi tau tak kite yang keje ni sume same je tujuannye nak cari duit to build better life & fulfill our own desire need..cume bezanye ade orang yang penat & tensen tapi suke dengan karier & kerja yang die buat..dan ade orang plak yang kerja asal boleh je just untuk tampung perbelanjaan hidup n bayar utang2 tetunggak yang tak abes2 tu.. Hidup ni memang tough & challenging itu aku suke tapi sumtymes pon sendiri temenung jauh jugak bile masalah datang BANG! atas kepalehotak. dush! Wateva ponnn teruskan hidup jangan berhenti sampai lah ke nafas terakhir tyme tu memang tak boleh buat ape dah kaku! Gulp~ k chiow dulu lapo lak ujan2 neh ;p~ Salam semue! :)

"Never let success get to your head,
&& never let failure get to your heart."

Not Too Late, It's Never Too Late..

2008-07-08T02:40:00.000-07:00

This world will never be, What I expected
And if I don't belong, Who would have guessed it
I will not leave alone, Everything that I own
To make you feel like it's not too late
It's never too late...

*Even if I say, It'll be alright
Still I hear you say, You want to end your life
Now and again we try, To just stay alive
Maybe we'll turn it all around, 'Cause it's not too late
It's never too late...

No one will ever see, This side reflected
And if there's something wrong,
Who would have guessed it
And I have left alone, Everything that I own
To make you feel like, It's not too late
It's never too late...

Back *

The world we knew, Won't come back
The time we've lost, Can't get back
The life we had, Won't be ours again...

This world will never be,
What I expected,
And if I don't belong...

Back *

Maybe we'll turn it all around
'Cause it's not too late
It's never too late (It's never too late)
It's not too late, It's never too late...

*Lyrics By Three Days Grace - Never Too Late

Note : This lyrics really mean something to me, i mean to my whole life as people, as a daughter, a sister, a girl, a woman and as a person who lived in this world with so many things & responsibility to put on it selves. For me, it's never too late to regret, apology or to lead the way to where we are, when we're still alive there's always a second chance...

Today, may be the day i've open my eyes and look around and make me think awhile... So many² people out there who suffer & give up to live, but somehow everything happen for a reason, God knows the reason and the anticipation will always come for people who really deserved or fated to take it... And so am I... I have to be strong, shielded with confident and courages to keep goin on while i'm still alive... Sometimes i wanna run away and release my self from all the problems that comes after me... But the problem will not solve if we just left there... We have to fight and face it, there's always a way to get thru it until one day we'll find a peace and a secret place where we should be... This is life, just carry on what we have...
Be praised to God, Allah S.W.T. Amin.

Suatu Mase Dulu... "Erti Sahabat"

2008-05-22T19:26:00.000-07:00

Suatu mase dulu...
Mase zaman sekolah rendah ku..
Aku pernah menangis sebab mak aku tak amek balek skolah je!
Aku jalan kaki sensorang dari skola ke umah arwah akak aku,
Tu tak brape jauh sangat la, tapi agak jauh jugak la.
Kadang² kalau malas dan emosan aku bejalan terus balek umah aku..
Umah aku jauh dari skola rendah mase tu.. adela dlm 100 depa kingkong.
Tapi aku nak jadi 'wonder woman' la konon bejalan sejaoh tu..
Fuh dasat.. sampai umah lembik :( haha padan muke haku! b-(
Nak tau nape aku jalan kaki mase tu?
Sebab haku xreti naek bas awam! muahaha klaka²..
Mase ni aku ade group name GIRLFRIEND.. ade 5 orang + aku.
Aku, FATIN (sepupu aku), PIDOT, SHIMA & SULIA..
Aku sayang dorang sebab dorang lah aku belajar erti persahabatan.
Thanx my childhood friend, luv ya'll walaopon kite dah lost contact skang..
Itulah kenangan zaman skolah rendah ku ;)

Suatu mase dulu...
Melangkah ke alam remaja plak,
Taim sekolah menengah banyak sgt kenangan yg xleh lupa :D
Form1 aku sekolah kat SMKSP1 mase tu aku join budak² TOP GALZ..
Jalan skali ramai² orang tengok, GANGSTER takyah cakap..
Kalo lepak kantin lepak ramai² huha-huha, budak laki kacau²..
Haha..memang klaka..ade jugak la gado sket² & cabot skola :P
Itu normal la bagi aku zaman skolah memang la kene NAKAL! ahax.
GIRLFRIEND masih ade cume aku dah kene tarek dgn budak² TOP ni..
Jadi ade tercetuslah konflik antare AKU & GIRLFRIEND..
So kitorang SPLIT UP & buat hal memasing..memang sedih sangat time tu.. :((

Lepas tu SMKSP2 baru bukak dkt² ngn umah aku gak..
Jadi mase Form2 aku kene pindah kesane..
Mase ni lah aku jumpe SOULMATE & BFF dunie akhirat aku >:D<
'SCOOGURLZ' tu la name group/clique/awex² ku haha..
Ade 6 orang semuenye.. FYDA, PIPIE, SRI, YANA & RIEYDA (pidot) ;p
Mase tu aku dengan FYDA (one of SG) yang build & raise this group..
FYDA bagi name SCOOGURLZ coz mase tu SCOOTER tgh 'IN'!
Then mase tu aku join pengawas.. aku pegi lawatan pengawas ke MELAKA.
Mase tu lah aku jadi rapat dengan PIPIE (one of SG)
N then aku tarik die masok SCOOGURLZ.. kitorang betige mmg mcm belangkas.
Dorang pas balek skola bosan² suke lepak rumah aku coz dkt dgn skola kan..
Aku tak brape ingat mcm mane SRI, YANA & PIDOT masok group ni..
Tapi PIDOT memang besfren aku sejak skola rendah lagik (dlm GIRLFRIEND)..
YANA mase tu satu kelas dgn PIPIE kot.. SRI satu kelas ngn aku n FYDA..

Dipendekkan cite, mungkin takdir dah tertulis yang kitorang akan jadi
SAHABAT SEJATI sampai SEKARANG kan.. aku harap sampai kiamat lah :D

Dan dengan 6 ORANG ni lah yang aku panggil 'SCOOGURLZ' yang telah

mengisi kekosongan & memberi inspirasi kepada kehidupan aku sehingga ke harini..

Segala pahit getir kite lalui bersama betahun² lamenye since 2002 sehingga sekarang 2008

Almost 6 years now.. but we're STRONG & LOYAL to our friendship..

Aku tau antara kita takda sorang pon yang pernah membelakangkan our friendship,

Walaopon kite ramai 6 orang satu group, pelbagai pendapat, pelbagai karenah..

Tapi aku pecaye 'CHEMISTRY' antare kite semuelah yang membuatkan kite kekal smp skang :-*

Aku bersyukur sangat² kerana dipertemukan dengan mereka! LOVE YA'LL <3> >:D<

"Everything happen so SPONTANEOUS & flow so FAST,
Feels like YESTERDAY become TOMORROW :)"

From the bottom of my kaki,
Nur Irena Idris.

..aku .&&. kehidupan..

2008-05-19T07:11:00.000-07:00

Hidup nie...kadang² penuh dengan tawa riang yang menggembirakan...kadang² penuh dengan misteri dan teka-teki...kadang² rasa gelisah, resah, sedih, bingung, kusut, putus asa...erghhh...

Tapi kenapa? kenapa kite kena lalui semua tu? memang lah adat kehidupan turun naik, kadang di atas kadang di bawah, masa berlalu dunia berputar..hari semakin jauh didepan..kadang² rase mcm nak buat sesuatu tu tak sempat dalam masa satu hari..rasa macam "..kalau lah aku dapat putar balik masa.." tapi tu semua karutlah! imaginasi tinggi mengalahkan eiffel tower :P

Bila ingat² balek mase lalu..banyak jugak kenangan & pengajaran hidup yang telah aku belajar dari kesilapan mase lalu..memang kalau nak listkan, nak tejojol kepale hotak akuw nak igt balek! tapi walaopun xdapat nak ingat semua, namun kesan daripada kejadian atau insiden tu dah pun menjadi kenangan..sejarah hidup untuk dikenang pade mase akan datang...

Skarang dah tahun 2008...aku dah nak masok 21tahun..phew~memang rase la skang..rase TUE, rase NAK KAWEN, rase NAK KAYE, rase NAK BERJAYA & BERKEJAYA..dan jangan lupe rase NAK MENINGGALKAN DUNIE pon mesti nak kene ade btol x..kite bukan nye idop di dunie selame²nye..

Huermmm..bagi aku, aku masih rase belum capai sesuatu..masih rase kekurangan lagi dalam hidup aku..yelah umur pon baru melangkah ke alam-20an..memang masih banyak lagi untuk aku teroke O.o cewah! ini lah aku...aku orang biasa...punya cita² tinggi mcm orang lain jugak...aku harap satu hari nanti aku akan jadi orang yang berguna & berjaya di dalam hidup mahupun akhirat (INSYAALLAH) dan aku harap sangat dapat membalas jasa KEDUA IBU BAPA aku yang membesarkan & mendidik aku sehingga sekarang...AMIN...

~My First Blog~

2008-05-12T22:59:00.000-07:00

Salam...~

Hari ni (13/05/08) akuw bru jek reg blog..
Har har.. saje je testing² 123 :P

Bes ke blog neh eah?

Xtau la bes ke x bab orang len akan bace blog kite yang ntah hape² ni kan ☺ ahax..

Well...hidup ni kalau tak dikongsi tak bermakna lah betol x? Wah! Dasat gituw..

K lah end for now~ Arios cabot dlukkk~! -AX a.K.a NinA-